Stand By Me

I don’t often get out of the house, but today my wife begged me to get out and take a walk. I eventually relented figuring it would do me some good. My best friend -- my German Shepherd dog -- passed away a few weeks ago. Some might think its silly to get emotional over a dog. I don’t think so. I’ve been attached to my dog for almost ten years now and it is very difficult to get past feeling very empty without her. I guess I am still in the second phase of the grieving process and I can recognize that going out to take a walk would be very healthy for me.

I grab my earbuds and plug in my iPhone, then load up John Lennon into the player. The air is perfect, just cool enough to wear shorts. The sky is a pale blue color and I can see the crescent moon showing me just a sliver of the light from the setting sun. It is civil twilight and when I look up, a jet airplane is angling toward heaven leaving a billowing cloud of smoke in its trail. On my iPhone I hear John Lennon singing “Stand by Me”. I didn’t bring my camera. I haven’t felt like shooting anything for almost a month now.

I’m walking along the same path I used to walk with my dog. It feels very strange now without her. She was the best trained dog in the neighborhood. The leash was just ornamental and to keep her legal. With or without the leash she never strayed from my left side. Right, left, slow, fast, any abrupt movement could not shake her. Always at my left side. It certainly feels strange that she’s not here.

Sometimes my family members come to me after going through some problems and tell me how much their life sucks. I immediately retort with “Yea, life sucks. But it sure beats being dead.”. What I mean by that is I really appreciate life in all of its pains and all of its glories. I think how lucky I am to be alive and to be human. No other species on this planet has the capacity to experience the range of thoughts and emotions that we are capable. Children and young adults are especially lucky because they haven’t yet learned to control their emotions, and even simple situations can trigger an explosion of unabashed emotional outbursts.

I haven’t cried since I was in my 20’s. Even when I broke my shoulder in a Harley Davidson accident, 50 miles from the nearest hospital, enduring the most excruciating pain I have ever felt, I did not even cry. The night my dog passed away, she suffered a stroke hours before. I walked into the hospital room and saw a respirator tube in her mouth, the CPR nurse pumping her heart. Her eyes were open but they told me she was already gone. I knew this moment was inevitable but I couldn’t hold back the tears. I could only stand there and stroke her head for the last time while the tears kept rolling down my face. It’s hard to let go of the ones you love.

It’s funny to say it but I feel much better having expressed my mourning tears. I am sometimes envious how young persons can so easily express such a variety of emotions like joy, sadness, fear, anger, remorse, love, contempt, surprise, etc.. It’s time to take my camera and start shooting again. I’ll be looking for evidence that life is beautiful. I’ll be looking for the mystery and beauty of creation -- the human emotion.

Drugging my dog

Ouch! My fingers hurt. My dog has an ear infection and I am giving her antibiotics. One and a half pills twice a day. I hate that. Why can’t they give me pills that are in the correct amounts so I don’t have to cut one in half every day? I don’t have any soft cheese right now so I am giving her the medicine by opening her mouth and sticking the pill deep into her throat. She such a sweet dog and let’s me pry open her mouth without too much fuss, but she does give some resistance. I don’t blame her. I would not want someone prying open my mouth to stick a pill down my throat. At least I don’t have sharp teeth. My dog has some razor sharp teeth and just sticking my hand in her mouth is dangerous. My fingers get poked a couple of time from repeated attempts to get the pill down far enough that she is forced to swallow. It is not easy. I know it’s not comfortable for her and I wonder if she knows that I’m doing it to help her. After I jam the pill in her throat and clamp her mouth until she swallows, she gives me the same loving look she did before I started. I just love that loyalty.

Fun Photography

I just bought some studio lighting and a few backgrounds and set up a photo studio in my garage. I asked my friend's daughter if she would pose for me because she is strikingly beautiful. I've had lots of experience in photography but this is my first time using studio lighting so this was a learning experience for me. I think the photos came out very well, considering. I still have much to learn and I plan to be doing a lot more practice in the "studio". I am looking for some willing models to help me out.

This picture was taken with a blue background using two Photogenic PL1000DRC monolights. The camera used is a Canon EOS 20D, shutter speed: 1/125, f-stop: 6.3, ISO 100, focal length 118mm.

Model: Stephanie Nguyen
Age: 14

Christmas Vacation

Well, my good health only lasted through the Christmas day, and then I started feeling worse again. Luckily it wasn't too bad either and only lasted a couple of days. Anyways it wasn't such a good way to spend a Christmas vacation off from work but at least I got plenty of rest. Finally I was feeling good enough to visit my favorite restaurant, Il Fornio, on Thursday. I got a picture of Thy and Bobby the bartender (above) with Thy's new camera.


The next day we went to a show with my brother and Judy. We had gift certificates for the Elizabeth Howard's Curtain Call Dinner Theatre and "It's a Wonderful Life" was playing. I've had the gift certificate since my birthday, but it's not only a wonderful life, it's also a busy life. I finally have the time to use it. And I certainly wasn't dissapointed. The play was very much like the TV movie. It's a timeless story and you never tire of watching it. But what made this night really enjoyable was just being out with Jim and Judy. Let's hope we can do this more often.

Merry Christmas

I almost didn't make it this Christmas. I usually catch the flu early in December after everyone else around me has their spell. But this year the flu came late and I ended up feeling the symptoms starting last Thursday. Smartly I stayed home from work on Friday and spent the whole time in bed taking vitamin C and trying not to make it worse. Surprisingly I awoke on Christmas morning feeling much better and relieved it was only a minor cold. It turned out to be a pretty nice Christmas afterall.

I guess I was the first to wake in the morning. I went downstairs about 7am to light the tree and I discovered that Bella had tried to open her Christmas gift a little early. The bone was just wrapped in clear plastic and it appears she gave up after a dismal effort. She was extremely happy that I wasn't mad at her and instead I played with her for a while before going back to bed. Later, I gave her the bone outside and she buried it somewhere that I cannot find it.

Thy gave me a new book, Memoirs Of A Geisha, so I'll be reading that next. I wanted to read the book before I see the movie. Another pleasant surprise today, my long lost daughter Elizabeth shows up just before we were leaving for Chanthu's house. She's the one looking beautiful while jumping on my back in this picture. This was taken with Thy's new camera.

Finally, the evening culminated with the most fantastic tasting dinner at Sharon's house and Chanthu's unbelievable pumpkin pie. There were more presents to open and the cameras were flashing with wild abandon. I picked out some of the better pictures of the day and created a little gallery for you to enjoy. You can view the pictures here. I hope you had a wonderful Christmas, too.

Happy Thanksgiving

Today was Thanksgiving which we celebrated at my brother's house. My parents are visiting this week from Colorado. Judy is a fantastic host, everything was absolutely wonderful. I don't know how she does it. It seems like she just enjoys seeing everyone else enjoying themselves. Well, we won't disapoint you, Judy. The food was excellent and I want to thank you for everything.

The drive to their house was not nearly as enjoyable. The traffic was incredibly bad but expected for a Thanksgiving day. My parents live in rural Colorado and have a right to complain about the traffic. I don't blame them but I'm not sure why we endure it. I guess the great Southern California weather, the beach, the shopping, and the fine restaurants more than make up for the atrocious traffic. I'm just thankful that we were able to get almost all of our family together for this Thanksgiving. My sister could not make it this year. So Gina, if you are reading this, I hope you had a very happy Thanksgiving and I hope we'll see you again soon.

Welcome

This will be my first posting. I have not been much of a writer but I may surprise myself. I thought I wasn't much of a speaker either but since I started going to a Toastmasters club at Latin Leaders I find that my speeches tend to be lengthy and I have have a hard time keeping them within the time limits. I guess I have a lot to talk about so I should have a lot to write about. I read a lot and my lunchtime conversations with friends usually involve topics that I draw from things that I read. So I think that this blog will mainly contain these types of ravings that may seem at times to be lunacy but hopefully will be insightful.

This weekend was a busy weeked for me. I spent Saturday scuba diving with a dry suit specialty class. There is a young couple in the class and the guy picked this time to propose to his girlfriend. The instructors prepared the dive site with a sunken treasure chest (I guess containing the ring) and they pretended to "discover" it during the dive. How romantic, huh?

My niece was also visiting this weeked with her friend so I took everyone to the Galaxy Theatre to see Which One's Pink and Led Zepagain. The show was fantastic. The next morning we ate at IHOP before they had to leave. I snapped this picture while waiting for breakfast. I think she'd make a good model.